There does not have to be a single blow for there to be violence. Abuse can also happen through language. Verbal abuse can hurt you and undermine your self-esteem. Today, we describe six types of unacceptable verbal abuse that you should not find yourself in, especially not if they come from your partner. It is important that you recognize the danger signals and put an end to it.
What is verbal violence?
When we hear the words “violence” or “assault”, we often automatically relate it to an assault or a blow. But there are other ways to hurt a person without touching them.
Insults, humiliations and shouting are some of the most common forms of verbal violence.
We often do not consider verbal and emotional abuse to be as serious as it does not give us any visible marks on the body. But it causes lasting damage to the soul, psyche and self-esteem.
Verbal abuse can be even more painful than physical abuse and has devastating consequences for the person who is exposed to it on a daily basis. Depression, anxiety, phobias, panic attacks and lack of self-esteem are some of the consequences.
Verbal violence can also isolate you from family and friends, go beyond your social life and make it harder to perform due to low self-esteem.
Verbal abuse does not always happen with physical violence. It is not necessary when the perpetrator already has one someone by his side who is dependent on them, insecure and so afraid of them that they will do whatever he or she wants.
Hopefully this article can help you “wake up” if you are a victim of psychological violence so you can get away as quickly as possible.
Six forms of unacceptable verbal abuse
There are actually several ways to assault a person without putting a finger on them. Non-physical violence is more common than many people think because we often do not know how to identify it.
Maybe we can tell ourselves that he shouted because “he was pressured” or because “he had a terrible day at work…” then he apologizes, gives us a kiss and everything is put behind us.
However, this is in fact a form of abuse. And if you tolerate this aggressive behavior, you’re just hurting yourself more.
That’s right: if you are exposed to hurtful or offensive attacks on a daily basis, your self-esteem will be damaged. You do not realize how much it wears on you. Unfortunately, after all you have heard, it will be very difficult to believe in yourself again.
The most common forms of unacceptable verbal abuse are:
Destructive words are those that subtly lead us to believe that we are incapable of doing anything.
Some common phrases include:
- “You do not know anything about money because you are a woman”
- “Just stick to cooking and cleaning”
- “Make me a sandwich, that’s why you’re my wife”
- “You are not doing it right”
- “You are useless.”
These are just a few examples.
Degradation can also appear in the form of mockery or humiliation. He makes fun of the way you dress, something you say, a dream you have, as a way to humiliate yourself.
2. Accusations and guilt
Everything bad that happens at home is your fault: If he or she is tired, hungry, had a bad day at work, if you do not have enough money, if something breaks, if you can not have children… No matter what that is, even if it was not your fault, or if you did something by accident, he will blame you.
This is a lot like the first aspect of verbal abuse we mentioned (breakdown) as it always seems like you are doing something wrong. In this case, he or she speaks disparagingly about the things you love, compares you to his / her former lovers or his / her mother, he / she points out your mistakes and seems to judge every move.
Learn to distinguish between harmful criticism and constructive criticism. The first uses a hurtful tone and words that make you feel bad about fashion and prevent you from improving. Constructive criticism, on the other hand, is given with love and support.
Usually, unacceptable verbal abuse precedes physical abuse and shows that you are in a relationship with an aggressive partner who is also dependent on you.
- “If you go, I’ll kill myself.”
- “Forget about the kids if you leave me”
- “If you tell anyone, I will leave you without money”, etc.
In this case, the emotional manipulation keeps you from doing anything about the situation and keeps you by his side no matter how he treats you. Threats do not always develop into something real, but you obey the assailant’s commands because you do not want to risk it.
One of the most degrading forms of unacceptable verbal abuse that exists is someone treating you like a slave. This can occur anywhere, including in the bedroom.
Be very careful about the types of orders he or she gives you and especially the way you obey them. There is a difference between someone asking you to “bring me a glass of water” and “give me a glass of water, that’s what you’re here for.”
6. Blocks your opinion
In this case, he or she does not let you say what you think or feel about a topic. Or when you do, he / she rejects your opinions.
Some common statements to watch out for may be:
- “You do not know what you are talking about,”
- “Why do you have an opinion on that?”
- “Since when are you an expert in the case?”
- “Shut up, I did not ask for your opinion.”
If some of these unacceptable verbal assaults sound familiar to you, seek help and leave the relationship. You deserve better.