Being a single mom is not easy. However, there have been single mothers since the dawn of time. These amazing women are raising and educating their children alone or with a little help. There are millions of single mothers who have raised happy and loving children who continue to become happy and loving adults.
Being a single mom
Motherhood is a wonderful part of being a woman. But at the same time, it can be complex. If you are dependent on the help of your partner, it may be more tolerable, but this is not always the case.
A toxic relationship is not the best example to set for children. There are many women who have decided to continue with their pregnancy even though they have broken up with the baby’s father.
There are also women who have been abandoned by irresponsible men.
Although being a single mother may not have been in their original plans, and may make them quite scared, many women take on the challenge with love and bravery.
Another thing that is becoming more popular is for women to resort to artificial insemination to become mothers alone. They have been disappointed in their relationship or they have not found the right person and their biological clock is ticking.
Whatever the case, the decision to be a single mother comes with its challenges and rewards.
The challenges of being a single mom
If you have decided to raise children yourself, then you are now a single mother. The absence of a father should definitely not be a stigma for your children. There will be problems, but they can all be solved. You are in a perfect position to raise healthy, loving and happy children.
Yes, that’s right, it’s harder than if you had a partner, but it’s not impossible. The basic recommendations for being a single mother are:
Organize your support network
It is more than likely that you are not completely alone.
Think about and decide who the people who can support you through your pregnancy, labor, and childcare are. Your parents, siblings, cousins or friends are your support network.
If your partner has ignored their responsibilities, try to avoid feeling dissatisfied. Rest assured that there will be a whole lot of people around you who are excited that you are going to be a mom and they will be ready to support you with what they can.
Some will be able to support you with complex tasks, others with simpler things, but every single support will help make the whole role seem much easier.
Organize your work, your time and your budget
All the expenses of raising a child will smoke out of your account, so there is no room for improvisation. It is very possible that you will juggle work to be a mother and take care of your children.
You need to make sure your job is compatible with being responsible for children. You must be able to bring them and pick them up from kindergarten or school, help them with their homework, take them to the doctor, etc.
Therefore, in your budget you will have to take into account things like medical care, food, clothing, education and of course recreational and fun days.
You need to organize your schedule without overwhelming yourself. You need to make sure that you have and dedicate enough time to your responsibilities and also to have fun. And you also need to have a lot of patience for when things are not going as you had hoped.
What you did not do today, you can do tomorrow.
Prepare for the big question
Avoid feeling uncomfortable when they ask you about your child’s father. It does not make sense for you to be affected by this, or worse, that your child is.
If you have made the decision to use artificial insemination, you need to be able to talk about it naturally, just as you should when you tell your children where they came from.
If your partner left you or is dead, you need to be able to talk about it without feeling overwhelmed. It takes time, but you get to a point where you can talk about it without pain or anger.
Remember that there will be many moments where you will have to talk about the father of your children, also to your children.
Avoid talking badly about, or blaming the danger
If you had a bad relationship with your child’s father, avoid feeling frustrated, angry or angry.
In particular, avoid blaming your children for the situation. They have no responsibility to you, and are not the reason your relationship did not work.
Your children have the right to know where they came from and you have a responsibility to provide them with the most accurate and neutral information you can. Avoid giving your child a negative impression of their father. While it may be hard to remember, the father is responsible for 50% of your child’s life.
Let them know quite truthfully where they came from and let them make their own decisions. This is especially important if your baby was born using artificial insemination. Sooner or later, they will ask where their father is.
Learn to forgive
It’s easy to say, but certainly not easy to forgive an absent father.
It is a process that takes time. You might say you forgive them first, but it will be a long time before you really do.
If your partner is dead or if he has left you, forgive not only him but also yourself. At any point, you can begin to feel responsible for what has happened.
You decided to have a child with that person and it was him who gave you this wonderful opportunity to be a mother. Forgive yourself.
Just as you must learn to forgive, help your child learn to forgive both you and their father. Forgiveness is a good expression of love that will bring you closer to your child, which is the most important thing.
Seek help from a specialist
A supermother is not one who can do everything. A supermom is a mother who knows when they need to ask for extra help. If you need psychological help for yourself or your children, do not hesitate to seek it out.
While there are many reasons why people might try to hide their dark feelings, it is not good for you or your children. Family therapy can help you understand and solve your emotional challenges.
If you do not have the budget to pay for a service like this, look for local support groups, social media groups or family counselors who can suggest social centers.
Although you will never be able to replace a father, give the best of yourself as a mother. You can be a single mother and give double of love, patience, understanding and commitment.
It’s hard, but you can handle it and your kids will thank you for it.